Choosing Kind Thoughts.. Until the Confidence Comes.. :)
After diving in to Women Food and God, I am realizing how differently I would like to take my weight loss journey; more different than any other attempt before. I've been dealing with a lot of emotional issues this week.. and I've become more than aware of my link of emotional eating. I've been aware of it.. of course.. but finding a way to stop it is the next step. Because honestly, eating when you are not hungry.. means that there is something wrong. Its absolutely unnatural. And I imagine myself on the better path to more balance in my life.
Geneen Roth mentions in Women Food and God that you have to start trusting yourself and your own instincts about what your body wants. You have to learn to listen to your own body. And what I've come to accept is that for most of my life.. I have been harming myself mentally.. by wishing I was something that I am not. Wishing I had so and so's body shape..and looking in the mirror and not loving what I see back. I've been living in a false reality..and I'm ready to wake up.
So the question is.. can I trust myself yet? All of my impulses go back to what my mind is conditioned to think.. that I need to lose weight.. to get pretty and sexy.. because thats what I'm not. And only when you are physically attractive are you worth anything
----> This has been my belief system for so much of my life. And as much as I want it to stop right now.. it is conditioned. I feel like to "trust myself" will lead me back to regular abusive thoughts and bad habits.
But I think I can hold onto the concept of treating myself kindly. As if I am a child that deserves good love health and support. Theres no beating around the bush.. I want to lose weight!!! ..But the right way.