Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Depression Over Comes me
I'VE HAD IT WITH MYSELF!
I've had it.
Im so tired of taking the same chances..and making the same mistakes. And feeling the same things.
I'm too fat. Why would anyone want to be with me. He must be cheating on me. How could he want this? I'm ugly, there's no chance for me to even try. My voice is going. I can't sing. I can't afford any kind of gym or dance lessons. I just feel like i'm going to have a break-down.
These are the things that go through the mind of me...and I'm trying to figure out..if they have any validity. If they do have validity, then that means, I am not depressed, just putting myself into a reality check.
If they don't, which is what i try to convince myself everytime this happens, then its just my mind, trying to break me down...but how can this be?
I'm 5'1, 147lbs, i'm broke, i have a lousy job, i'm an aspiring performer..who can't sing, can't act, and is too fat and short to dance!!!...like wtf?
i'm really hating this right now. I wish i hadn't stepped on that FUCKIN SCALE. so much for aspirations...