Here are some important things I got from this...
Ladies...take note...not all of this will make you happy...
Relationship Expert M. Gary Neuman is on the Oprah Show today. And he is covering a discussion that MANY women are frustrated with today..."WHY MEN CHEAT".
Even in my own family, I have experienced this issue. About 2 or 3 years ago, my mother informed my sister and I that our own father had been cheating on her for the past 7 years. Just recently, my parents were officially divorced. Even after much time, it has been an eye-opener for myself. As I come to the conclusion that daddy is not superman..
As I approach my own relationship of already 2 years, I have been very insecure with this topic.
Lets see what Gary says....
The number one reason that men cheat is because they feel under appreciated.
Dr. Neuman says that if a women is considering that a man is cheating on her...she should not just accept it. If there is a reason to suspect...whether he is or not...there is something wrong in your relationship.
Dr. Neuman says GO AFTER THE EVIDENCE. Find out what is going on. Believe you do have a right to know the TRUTH.
Dr. Neuman says Men Lie. Only 7% of men will confess to cheating after not being probed.
But the underlying issue here, is if you feel something is going on. There is something wrong between the two of you. Not just him. But you and him.
Gary tells men...
- Be honest with your wife. Men, its important to Break the Code: Never tell. Most women have a harder time dealing with the truth after realizing how much you have lied. Also, it'll be even that much harder to renew her trust. If you want to keep your girl....be honest as early as possible.
- Women will want to know: Who is she? Where did you meet her? Do you love her? Answer them. Where did you take her? What type of sex did you have? You have to Answer them. However, more detailed questions will make it harder for women to get past this.
- Women are focused on the wrong thing. Spend more time taking care of your well-being than trying to keep up on the new trends of sex. Get the right amount of sleep. Pay attention to your own body needs. Get what you want from sex.
- Most men complain about the frequency of having sex.
- Men want to be with YOU. Sex is his expression on wanting to be with you.
- A woman initiating sex is like a man washing the dishes and bringing home flowers for the woman's point of view. This makes the man feel wanted. And makes him feel like they've won you. Men like to win.
#1 spend more time away from house
#2 less sex
#3 avoidance of contact
#4 criticizing you more
~Statistically Most women will never know if there man has cheated. (boooooo!!)
~12% of men are going to cheat no matter what. These are usually the men that don't show any remorse for sleeping with other women. Gary says just leave them. I say it too! lol
I know this is a tough subject. But an all too common subject. Most women feel annoyed at the fact that men are so un-able to take ownership of their own actions. Women get turned on too. Women want sex too. They get desires from other men too. So what is it that makes it different between the two sexes? Dr. Gary says women are just more expressive with their needs. And men are not. Most women could be frustrated with the fact that they have to work so hard. I see it as, everything takes hard work. Especially maintaining a loyal relationship. It's hard work. And I hope that we can take from this that men aren't always dogs or pigs. But human beings with flaws. And there is some things we can TRY to do, to make things a little easier for us. However, if working this hard.. still gets us no respect ...Then my lil ass is leavin! And so should yours. Love ya...
Starting today 9/11/2008 till tomorrow 9/12/2008 till 7pm, you can download Dr. Gary Neuman's book on infidelity in the marriage for free on www.oprah.com