Monday, April 21, 2008

Too Many Exes...Not Enuff Successes?

Welllll, its the day before my 23rd.

And i'm off of work, car less, phone less, bf less, and i'm trying to accept the present.

Trying. I am accepting the present. As much as I do not want to, I realize, that the present is all I can have.

Unfortunately, today is not necessarily a day for motivation or movement right now.
I feel like I am just wading the waters...hoping that I don't slip, fall, drown, or get eaten. lol.
I'm looking at my situation...and thinking... this is not too good. I need to be better.
I look at my present being..and i'm thinking...hey.. you are hanging in there. So just be better.

I don't know. I'm sort of wishy washy today. And i'm still sad....

Accepting what you cannot change... is the hardest lesson learned.

I look at my new ex, and i see pictures of my old ex, and at first thought and feeling... I have a sense of loss...and complete failure. As if... I let any possibility go. And then, the next feeling..is one of...hey girl..snap out of it. You'll find another....And then the next feeling is....I don't want to find another...AND THEN, the next thought is....well, he will. And then...

the next thought is...

is....

??

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