Sometimes I Question if I am even a Good Person...
I am. Not.
Seems like...these days... EVERYBODY's got a problem with me.
I feel...no.. I am...fIGHTING with Everyone!!!
I am fighting with my mother.
I am fighting with my ex bf.
I am fighting with my friends....
They all have things to say... they have names to call me...
Sad, Unresponsible, Rude, Weak, Bitch, Disrespectful...
I feel like its the same frustrations that i felt when I was the leader of the Black and Hispanic Alliance at my college. With the efforts of my team, we got the minority group on our campus to be recognized University-wide. But the year ended with a lot of people angry and upset with me.
Its like...people are always watching you. And in the end.. they don't see the good. Or even the good intentions. They are only focused on what they think YOU have done to them. And they hate you for it.
And it might just be me. But when the people in my life choose to not like me. It comes out in the form of Hate. Of Resentment. But that just be my perspective. That may just be me seeing things the way that they see things.
And when you hear it over and over again...
you begin to wonder if its really true... if there is anything left good in you.
And you want so badly for someone to call you...write to you..and just tell you that they think differently. It would be nice if someone could confirm to me that Im doing okay. But..no one has. And i'm sure its because i'm not doing okay. No one is responding to wats going on..cause they don't care anymore. They are fed up and tired of dealing with what seems to be a "bad" person--thats me.
And how does it make me feel you ask?...if you are even asking.
Well it just makes me want to disappear