Saturday, November 1, 2008

I take ownership.

I'M GETTING HIGH, HIGH, HIGH, HIGH, HIGH............................

No matter what, I may not have the HOT self confidence like others.

But I am a SMART and careful woman... I am.

Yet, like many, plaGued by this world and mentality. I don't know what to think is right or wrong anymore. And I'm basically never sure whether to trust my feelings, thoughts, or emotions at any escalated moment. I find myself time and time again...questioning if whatever is going on with me has legit right....Or am i just being a big egoic LooNey.

Also without a doubt, i wonder if the actions i take, or the decisions i make could result in a really good ending....Or a Complete Mess.

But I take full responsiblity for All OF it. . In the moment, I recognize that I want so ultimately to blame whomever is in my presence for creating this itch...or unending pain of agitation, anger..whatever it may be at the time. ....but i try to be cautious with my decisions. Making little decisions when to take action based on my feelings...and not based on them.

I try to keep my convos neutral at this time. Basically not allowing my desire to blame show at all. I say..."its my prob"...and "just forget it"....I'm trying to be better here..but i'm not sure if i always am choosing the right paths.

maybe next time i'll say...."sorry".

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