Cause it does bother me. It bothers me to the point of holding down rage and anger.---this might be where my taurean personality gets picked on too much and is ready to let loose! And i want to make it a better experience for myself.. I think i've done good thus far... I found myself smiling at some points when it does happen by imagining the "girl" or object of affection and attention is growing a quite large penis under her tight ass skirt! This really does trigger my creative energy..and weird enough it changes my energy..because never would I imagine smiling in those moments and i've been able to accomplish that. But its not sustainable for me. i'm not always in a creative mood and can easily fall back into a very angry state..and it doesn't feel healthy.
So this morning after my shower, I thought about it with even more depth. I've found that the real trigger IS the 'appreciation' of another's body and sexual attraction. And when I look at myself..I honestly don't feel that I have that period. This morning i realized that I can't wait for someone else to give me what I want. That is another of my mantras that I've got to live by. Cause if you wait to get what you want from people..they will disappoint you...And its important to have SELF-FULFILLMENT. So its time that i START with myself. I need to learn to appreciate my own body, my own physical sexual attraction. My anger comes from a lack of self-love. And thats all it really is.