I know that its a fact. Blogging has helped my hair tremendously. Blogging is going to help me lose 30lbs. And Blogging can only help me piece together my musical career.
As the year ends, i'm faced with some hard realities. I'm working an awesome gig at Exhalespa, where I can make my own schedule and take classes for free. It pays..okay. This gig has gotten me comfortable. I'm focused on work now, and nothing else. At some point I was considering the fact that I might want a position in the company.. maybe a corporate position. But recent events have given me signs that I am truly not made for this spa business.
On the side, I've been working gigs with my vocal cabaret group. And I have gained a lot more performance experience with them. Its been a pleasure being around other talent and artists and learning how their work ethic is. Its kept me motivated to keep music in my life. And as the New Year comes... I've realized that it is essential that I don't have to piece together my life for the next 40 years, but I do need to figure out what path I want to take; I fear that otherwise, my dreams of being a paid and professional singer will slip right through my tiny hands.
So this year, my New Years Resolution is to blog about my hair, makeup,fitness... all the lovely things us girls need to keep updated on. But I will also Blog about what I am doing musically. With hopes that this will keep my career moving forward in full gear. I truly want to end up with a career... not a job or a gig.
Most recently, I read a great blog post by a well-known vocal teacher in NYC. She was frustrated with the desperation of performers who approached her. And she stated the following words...
Panic and desperation do not bode well for success at anything, for anything.
Perhaps it is time to ask ourselves - what do I want and why? And is it feasible to pursue it? And if it doesn't work out, am I comfortable to look at other possibilities?
I was so intrigued by these questions that I felt it was essential that I went ahead and answered them right now.
What do I want and why?
I truly want to be a paid and professional singer. I want to write my own songs and perform them on stages across the nation and even internationally. I want to collaborate with well-known recording artists and record my own albums. I want to perform in Broadway Musicals as well as be on Film. I want this because The Arts has always felt like "home" to me. In a world where I don't always feel like I belong, Music has invited me in to belong to something. It is my escape from...everything! When I feel pain, or anxiety, or distress, I turn to music as a healer. I want to share my love of music with the world.
Is it feasible to pursue it?
I've always believed it was until I left college and realize that I still didn't have the work ethic or the resources to make this happen. It is feasible, but there is no promise that it will make me any money to survive without a second job. It is feasible but I am in a relationship that means the world to me, and my family is all in NY, which makes me second guess leaving NYC if I ever had to. It is feasible, but there are still some roadblocks that I am afraid I will have to tackle. And I do believe these fears are what are holding me back.
Am I comfortable to look at other possibilities?
Honestly, I feel that if I'm not the one behind the microphone or the pen and paper, then i'm not going to want to stay in the biz. I would prefer to do event planning, or do something with animals, or train in esthetics to aid people in skincare. I have a lot of interests that would make me happy as a career. But I would not be able to pursue anything else than my dreams in Music. And, yes I am comfortable at these possibilities, because I've been honest with myself on what I will and will not do. And that comes genuinely from me..without any influence from anyone else. If I did pursue these other possibilities.. I believe I would be happy because music would never leave, I would still sing when asked to, I would still listen to music that inspires me to make my own music, and I would be in a dance class or something. I know that if it does not become a career, it would still be apart of my everyday life. And yes, I am okay with that. :)
**feasible - adjective
1. capable of being done, effected, or accomplished: