Saturday, July 2, 2011

Dreamscape night 1 recap

So I am going over my "Dreamscape" tapes finally. This is a big show that i helped produce and perform in April. Let's just much I haaaaate re-looking at tapes of performances that I have previously done. In order for me to avoid feeling completely squirmish i really have to watch the tapes by myself...and at least a month later...this time it was nearly 3 months later. haha

So reviewing my performance for the first night... i am proud of myself because my vocal range is starting to sound more open and I am able to go in and out of registers more easily. I can tell from my whole performance of that. So I am happy with that. I personally thought that i looked beautiful--overweight and all. I absolutely love the way that i wear my clothes and I seem to give of a big helping of self confidence and assurance (Even if thats not what i am always feeling on the inside).

I do not want to be too self-critical..cause we are all our own critics..and i find that there is always something stirring within me that is never i'll be easy on myself. What i remember from that night was that i wasn't happy with my solo. I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy...but looking at it now, I think because i didn't feel completely confident with it that i GAVE my all. And it did fill in the gaps to the parts that were missing. It is hard for me to not look at the other singers and weigh myself. There are thoughts in my head that want to compare and contrast...but i am not going to go there with my "recap" because Beyonce said it best that she is most competitive with herself. So i will choose to only comment on how i can improve on my last performances and do better from what i did...and not what anyone else did..even though its so innate for me to look at others...

What i do need to work on is ...

1.)breath control. Its time to push myself in my workouts..maybe in running to sing when I run or do any cardio. That will be a training that i'd like to do. Cause there are times when my breath falters..and then it messes with my ability to stay on pitch or to hold out notes..or to be more dynamic with my singing volumes.

2.)transitions. in this specific solo..the transitions musically, vocally and physically were little awkward. It is definetly hard for me to find the comic relief in my performance...which leads me to the next thing...

3.) Acting. I fall in and out of my character instead of staying right there with it. Sometimes falling out is good..and it helps to relieve the moment...but i do it a little too often..and i can see how an audience member would not be able to follow my intention. I think improvement on this comes from doing the song, over and over and over again. Also it is just mere performance...i need to have more and more and more performance i can sharpen these skills...I haven't been performing as much as when I was in HS and college..and i think I am a little rusty.

4.) diction and key. I've got to work on my diction, my intention and possibly some of the keys of the song could be changed to help me bring out more.

so thats my recap for night 1. Night 2 and 3 to come.. This is mainly to help me see what I need to work on when we do this again in the Fall.

I do see much improvement. And bg was so supportive of me..that i do not want to let go of all the wonderful things he said.

There is constantly an uneasy/restlessness within me when it comes to my music. And i don't know if it is coming from a good place. Sometimes i just feel like i WILL never be as good as i think I am in my head. Sometimes I just am unhappy with what i HEAR AND SEE back..despite what people say..and so its a struggle for me to really trust myself and to think that i am great..quite often I am at a battle with myself over what i think is perfect and me trying to achieve that. This summer is when I'd really like to tackle this. I think it is good for me to be critical and to see and look for improvements..but i am unhappy at how dissatisfied i can be. When at the end of the day...its not about competitiveness or perfection... its about doing what i love and loving to do it.

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